| tube tops and dust bunnies. |
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| 11:47pm 13/05/2007 |
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music: the name of the music i'm listening to is the Talking Heads
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I've been doin' stuff. Not a lot of stuff, but enough to not make me feel depressed. Fotoklub is going good; and that's about all I really do right now. I bought a Dry Media sketch pad and have been trying to draw more and more. I used to draw so much it was ridiculous. I have chest of drawers in my basement back in NJ, filled with sketch pads. They're all from the ages of 14-18, and my mom kept, what must be hundreds, of drawings in boxes from when I was in Pre-School to 13. I went to private art school, after school, for 9 years with George Kaizer's studio of Art. It was pretty annoying, but he taught me a lot, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be as talented as I am today. I'm not trying to brag; I just feel like I have to remind myself that I can draw. I used to win awards, I did great in college, and everyone knew me as an artist. Out here, I just work at places that don't let me contribute artistic-ly. It's weird that people will see me sketch something real fast, and they're like, "oh, you can draw pretty good." And I'm thinking, "No, I can draw GREAT." I think I'm going to draw now. |
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| catching up |
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| 08:31pm 09/05/2007 |
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music: hairdresser on fire.
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so here's the rundown:
new job
new car
new friends
new pics
new ideas
new...apartment?
Who wants to know this info? I bet YOU do!
New Job:
I got a new job at Pictage. It's a pretty sweet job and I dig it. Pictage is a photo company that provides professional photographers with resources to get their photos uploaded on our server, then we print them, put them on CDs, make proof books/prints, make albums, pic books, event cards, thank you cards, DVDs, etc. What I do is I help with customer support. It sounds like a gay job, but it's actually pretty challenging, and requires a lot of problem solving and quick thinking...which i like. I was pretty much turned into a supervisor my second week on the job, and am now in charge of most of my team. I thought it was pretty strange, but whatever; I get paid a butt ton of money now and can afford things I couldn't before. I also get benefits, a 401k, a free photographer's account, company picnics, 2 weeks of paid vacation, one week of sick time and free cupcakes once a month. Overall, it's pretty nice, I like the people for the most part, and I get my own cubicle.
New Car:
So I have a Honda 2001 Accord. It's a sweet car; I love Hondas. I've always driven one. Well, I bought this Honda from a dealership, and it costs me $280 a month for car payment, and $127 for insurance. It also takes, not a lot, but enough gas to make me annoyed. So I decided to sell it and get an older car that was better on gas and fun to drive. I got a 1987 VW Cabriolet, sometimes called a "Rabbit". It's just about the best car ever. It's in perfect condition, red, white, and cute as a fucking button. Problem is it's manual transmission. I learned it though, and can now smoke all your asses.
New Friends:
I have always had Paul as a friend, but now he's like, my new best buddy. It's awesome and I'm glad he's my buddy now. He has an awesome dog and I like using the excuse to go see Paul to go see Stu :) We've started a Photo Club and now go around and take pics with our polaroids and any other medium format or non-digital cameras. It's an excuse to be artistic and adventurous all in the same day.
FotoKlub:
New Pics:
I'm taking a lot of pictures, mostly polaroids. Here's a few not related to the top:
New Ideas:
I plan on re-doing my myspace, knitting the rest leo's hat, and getting some drawings of Golden Books inspired art down on paper finally. Don't know what I'm talking about? Look up the Pokey Little Puppy. Also, I'm still trying to get some more Felt Work done. And working on letting out some secrets.
New....apartment?
Klaus has fleas. It sucks, but I don't have a bite on me, but he does. Poor guy. He's itching all the time. My main concern is how he even got them....he doesn't go outside and I don't take him anywhere where there would be fleas. I do, however, find him in the garage a lot, mistakingly trapped in there by my fellow roommates. He comes out dirty and gross, and the garage houses a multitude of insects, including COCKROACHES. It's gross. I assume this is how he got fleas. My one crazy roommate, James, has made me so mad by making me do something NOW about the fleas (which I have been for months; bathing him, getting him a flea collar, putting medicine on him). I've told him to keep the garage door shut, but he doesn't fucking care and has told me that he can't always keep an eye on the door and klaus. There's a lot more to the story, but I'm too lazy to type everything. The point is, I have a good job now, so i think i'm moving on to bigger and better things. Me and Klaus are gonna hit the road and get an aprtment in San Pedro, like I used to have. It would be nice if I could do this with Leo, but I don't think that'll happen anytime soon (much to my chagrin). Oh well.
That's the update folks. Dig it. |
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| trips to nowhere. |
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| 12:40am 07/04/2007 |
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we had a lovely trip to a secret spot today.
JP strung leo and i along for a while, telling us he was taking us to a place that would undoubtedly interest us. it did! we went to Wacko's in LA and saw the "First Friday" art show. It was pretty cool; lots of interesting new artists and people to look at. There was a hodge podge of interesting things to buy and look at, of course JP would not let me buy something. Anyways, we also went to IHOP prior, where I got the Fish and Chips, baked potatoe instead of french fries and side salad. Ah. I'm on a big fish kick right now.
Last Saturday, Leo and I went to an art party at Mike B's. It was pretty hip. We did some nice collaborative art:
If you can't tell, that's a couple of penguins afloat in a big top hat being chased by a squid. We both painted it together. I love how it came out. I think we work pretty well together as an art team.
Pierre was there, and he built a WWII inspired diorama built out of traditional 2nd grade craft elements. Here is the fruit of his 4+ hours of work:
He decided to be artistic and BURN his piece and give Mike B the photos. I was in charge of the shoot, and this is one of many photos concerning the burning:
All in all, fun had by all, snickers eaten by some, rice and beans by others. Ouiija board was a bust and couldn't contact recently deceased naked man.
My new job is a lot of fun, I don't like one person, but the rest are nice. I get my cubicle and I plan to decorate it with polaroids and dead things. Hurrah.
ta! |
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| 12:14am 31/03/2007 |
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mood:  here you go. music: whispering, but whispering very loudly for dramatic effect.
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One time my brother and my next door neighbor, Tim, built a elevator in one of our trees in the backyard. We had this huge, expansive field that we were allowed to call our back yard. It's end was the beginning of a small hunter's trail that led into the woods. Growing up, I was sometimes scared of the path because it looked so foreboding. The trees made a sort of semicircle on either side of the path with their branches, making the opening look like a looming, gaping mouth. One time, there was an enormous stuffed bear left outside of the path, just left to rot in our backyard. I never knew who it belonged to, and it's stuffing littered the yard for weeks until my brother was forced to clean it up. My dad said that he found what we believe to be a chair from the 30s or 20s on the path. It's frame looks to be made of maple wood, and has numerous carvings of monks going about their daily tasks. However, the arms of the chair brach out rather far, and on the ends rest two screaming heads of the monks. My dad has dubbed it the "nazi" chair for some reason. Ask him.
As I was saying, my brother and Tim built an elevator in one of our trees. The tree was on the property line of both our back yard, and Tim's. His yard was, "The Florey's" because that was his last name. It's odd in NJ; property lines usually aren't divided by fences, but a small, fence post with a flourescent tie around it. Usually it's hot pink. Sometimes it's determined by "that tree over there" or "a ditch". My brother, Damian, and Tim had acquired some black, rubber cords that they used to strap to a similairly textured strip of rubber. They made it so the strip of rubber could be sat on, and the rubber cords were tied to the sides, then met a decent way up above the passanger. The remaining cord was then thrown over a branch, and used either to pull yourself up, have someone who was already up the tree pull you up, or gently let yourself down from the tree. The elevator led us to make a plank up in the tree. There's a lot of these in the forests of NJ, and I'm sure in other places similair to it. They are usually used as a sufficient outpost for knocking off prey, mostly deer. Anyways, I remember being on the elevator, but never being on the planks. I don't remember looking down from the planks that is. I remember vaguely, seeing a rainbow from high up one of our trees in the backyard, close to the one mentioned in this memory. I remember thinking, "wow, I can see every color, just like in the cartoons." It was amazing. I think it was my first rainbow that I ever saw.
I have a lot of memories of our backyard, and it's creepiness. There were multiple times where my brother and I claimed to have seen a UFO or something out of the ordinary running out there in the dark. Our upground pool was located pretty far out in the yard, too far away to be under the constant supervision of my parents. Come to think of it, our jungle gym was right next to it. Being on the gym or in the pool was slightly creepy because no one was really there to see you and where I lived, there are NO SOUNDS. Just bird sounds. And maybe wind sounds. I didn't grow up next to busy road or anything. My rood didn't even have a street light until I was 6 (1989). The road, Penny St., only had one row of houses. There are either 10 or 9...I forget. However, there are STILL only these houses and most of the road looks exactly as it was the day I was born. The only huge difference is the people who eventually moved into my house made a fence.
At the end of Penny st. was, what I remember being, a huge swamp. It was always a source of entertainment because it provided us daily with frogs, tadpoles, turtles, and water snakes. Growing up where I did was magical, fascinating, and oddly disturbing. I can't begin to describe the quiteness of it all. At night, only hearing nothing. Maybe hearing the wind and an owl hoot; just like in the scary movies. In my bedroom, there was a door leading to the backyard. I had a door with no doorknob that could only be locked from the OUTSIDE, and the entrance to the attic was in my room. My brother tormented me daily, and it was usually verbal abuse. He wasn't afraid to be physical, and has left be pretty emotionally scarred. I guess I don't hold it against him, but it's hard to tell people why I'm still afraid of the dark.
I have more stories, I'm going to write them later. |
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| friends. |
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| 02:02pm 26/03/2007 |
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friends:
i feel like i have a good few of them.
aquaintences:
i have many.
enemies:
i don't know, but i'm sure they're out there.
I just wanted to say to any of you who read this, and understand, moving from one coast to another is really difficult. over the past 6 years, i've made a lot of friends and have kept few of them due to many circumstances, not all of them bad. keeping the ones i have is something i hold really dear, not to sound too retardidly sentimental. i'm extraordinarily close to my family and have grown up in a town where everyone knew your name, where you lived, and who your family was and what they did for a living. coming to a place like LA, is not quite a culture shock...it's more of a people shock. i don't know how to explain it, but i still feel isolated in this town. i guess because i don't have a friend who i can call whenever, hang out whenever, cry to whenever, and who will never care about my faults. i've only had one of them out here, and she has chosen to disappear from society.
i just don't want to be alone anymore. i guess i said it all right there. good thing no one reads this sort of stuff. |
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| tiny crevices and kitten fur. |
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| 01:20am 23/03/2007 |
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mood:  tired music: nico.
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I finally am done with Starbucks. It's not as if I didn't really like it there; I did. It's just, as usual, the management. If I was getting paid as much as I am at my new job, I probably wouldn't mind working at Starbucks. I don't know. I guess I'm sort of tired of the following:
-getting burns, cuts, and bruises
-smelling like old coffee and frappucino mix
-coming to work and nothing being done
-doing everything myself
-cleaning up after homeless people
-calling the cops twice a week and fearing for my general health
-dealing with people who think i'm retarded and don't understand how to make a drink
-taking apart the coffee filters; i hate that so much
I'm a girl. A lot of girls like clothes, shoes, painting their nails, doing their hair, and generally looking good and stuff. I like doing that. I never got to do that at starbucks. It's sort of like....put on some smelly, bleached stained clothes, tie your hair back, prepare to come out of work bleeding from somewhere and smelling of coffee. It's just not my thing I guess. I know I loved it at first, but after a while, it really started to interfere with my social life and my mental health. I get paid too little to do the job of a manager.
My new job is at a company called Pictage, inc. They are a photo company that takes photos and makes them into prints, books, and has customer photos available to view online; sort of like photobucket but you can order prints and albums. They do all of the color correcting and graphic design work there too, as well as printing. This is all stuff I have experience in, and am really excited to be a part of. I will be in an entry level position however, just doing customer service and answering phone calls/emails.
The perks include:
-$13.00 an hour
-work Sunday thru Thursday
-come in whenever I want, work 8 hours, leave.
-2.7 miles from my house
-Full benefits, 401k, free food
-Free account online
-working with people I all ready know (my friend got me the job and another friend of mine got hired at the same time as me)
Hopefully this will all work out.
Overall though, I still feel like crap. I had my big birthday bash, like I wanted. I would put photos up but they're all on my flickr. Just go there.
I worked so hard on all of the food. I made a ton of shit, thinking that the people who said they were coming would. Well most of them didn't. Thanks friends.
There was so much left over food it was ridiculous. I'm never going all out like that again for people who don't care as much as I thought they did. Don't get me wrong, the people that came, I love you and thanks for coming. But I'm mad that I went all out for people who didn't come to say hi at least. Oh well. I heard that one of my more outlandish, hermosa beach bar loving friends called my party lame on the way out. You're lame. Pfft.
Leo and I keep planning on going to the aquarium, but we keep getting sidetracked. While on Sunday we were just tired from the party, today was actually Brian's Mom's funeral/service/reception. It was really nice, and I loved the doves flying part of the service. It was all so nice, and everyone was so accepting and sweet about her passing. I enjoyed myself as much as one could at one of those events, and am thoroughly tired from spending almost 8 hours doing all of it.
I miss you so much and I don't know if things will ever go back to how I wish they could be again.
I work tomorrow, and will face most of the people who just found out that I'm quitting. I'm probably that store's biggest asset, and they all know it. When I leave, that place is going to shit. I'm not being pompous here, I'm being completely honest. Ask anyone there, especially the goddamn manager.
All right, wish me the best on whatever it i'm doing. |
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| 11:47pm 20/03/2007 |
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music: oh so david bowie.
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things feel pretty fucked up. i feel fucked up. shit. something's going down in my brain big time and i hope i don't turn into a casualty. |
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| instant fun and clean bathrooms. |
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| 11:16pm 10/03/2007 |
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mood:  shit's gettin done. music: *sigh* piebald.
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so I'm doing this new thing where I snap a polaroid, and try and write a poem about how i was feeling at the time. it doesn't work for all photos, but some it really does. here's one.
to pacify
this situation
would make me to move a mountain
of unacceptance,
of jealousy,
of arrogance.
a jerk of high proportions.
i can't move mountains,
but i can
seat myself
somewhere else.
of avoidance,
i am friend
and foe.
it's hard to be who i am right now, and accept the things that are wrong and will never be right again. how sad that it all went away in a flurry of immaturity.
on friday, we had a ball.
leo, JP, and I all went to Lupita's for a nice mexican, dining experience. JP was late but that's okay, cause it gave leo and i some time to discuss ugly people and how one lady looked like the singer from Pantera. Lupita's was really good and it gave me a good photo oppurtunity with my food. Unfortunately, I took the pic a little too close.
that's a plate of rice and beans, a tostada, and a chicken enchilada. my mom calls tostadas, "little hats."
As we left, leo had smuggled a supply of oranges for JP from the orange tree in his backyard. As we participated in a hand-off in the parking garage under Lupita's, we couldn't help but feel as though we were breaking the law in some weird way. Vitamin C is the new crack.
La dee da, leo and i are driving home through Redondo Beach, up PCH. Leo goes, "Woah" and pulls over onto a sidestreet and parks illegaly in the red. His car won't work no more. It's not the battery, it's not a lack of gas. We eventually found out it is some coil that needs to be sparked to contribute to fuel flow to th engine, but while we were parked out in RB, we just said, "fuck." Anyways, Leo's mom and dad came out to help us, they kinda couldn't, but they did drop us off at the worst McDonald's in the world so his uncle Peanut could come pick us up and take us back to the abandoned car in order to call Triple A.
As leo played his ukelale, peanut and I discussed responsibilty and working hard. The tow truck guy shows up and he's pretty bad-ass with his tow trucking abilities. I was unabashadly impressed. We leave and let the tow truck guy follow us to San Pedro. As we drive by the worst McDonald's in the world, we see a cop car, a crashed car, and the bloodiest guy I've ever seen all piled on top of the corner bus stop. Off we go to San Pedro and we take the tow truck guy to behind the house in the alleyway to drop off Leo's little honda. The car is now off the truck and needs to be pulled up to the fence. Leo gets in the car and tow truck guy pushes it. Leo forgets to brake and BAM he hits the fence. HAHAHA. It was pretty funny. The tow truck guy says, "That's never happened before! What were you doing?!" And we all laughed. I snapped this pic like, two seconds before it happened.
Leo and I went to bed happy and woke up to go on an adventure in getting funny, kitschy stuff for my party. We were QUITE successful, and I must say that this is the cheapest party ever. I think I've spent about $30.00 and Leo's spent about $20.00 on items like paper plates, napkins, cutlery, as well as really cool trays, plates, strange objects, and other bizarre things. You're gonna have fun if you come.
Here's one last pic I snapped of Klaus when I made my bed today. It also displays my tinkerbell green walls. So gay yes, but so nice to look at.
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| new room, big party. |
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| 08:29pm 07/03/2007 |
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mood:  (sort of) music: PB&J
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So I dropped a couple of classes at school. These classes would be:
Photography
History of Photography
(techincally a photography lab)
P.E.. 185
I didn't really want to quit these at all, it's just that for the first three classes, the teacher was the same inept, airhead who didn't know what was going on. ever. It was really quite depressing because I had such high hopes for those classes. I went out and tried really hard to get a great set of different photographs (both digitally and traditionally) for my autobiography assignment. I wound up going to polliwog park in Manhattan Beach and having a great time all by myself. I got some great photos of myself, and the surrounding nature thingies, inlcuding ducks.
These ducks just didn't move. It was awesome because they just sat there behind this fountain and let me get about 4 inches away and take a photo.
Here's a few things I wanted to write in my livejournal that have happened over the course of the past couple months that I just couldn't fit into the theme of what i was writing:
Leo and I were walking one beautiful day in Long Beach, in Belmont Shore. Those of you who know, we were near Fingerprints and Super Mex on 2nd st. As we were walking towards Super Mex, we saw about 40 or so amazon(?) parrots flying in a small flock and squawking like crazy. They went from tree to tree, just singing and squawking. We assume they escaped from somewhere, yet there was no news about it.
I've also wanted to note that I've had to call the police on so many occassions about the various transients that hang outside of my work, Starbucks. It's gotten to the point where someone is going to have to go to court to get some of these homeless people arressted to actually get the point across that they CAN'T hang out with their stinky selves outside of Starbucks anymore. Also, hot tea and a Ray Bradbury-hater come up in another episode, of which I will discuss at a later point. This is just a hook to keep you watching for more.
So My Party is coming up. For those of you who don't know, my Birthday is March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. It always has been, and it always will be. A lot of people think I'm having this party just so they'll come and get to drink or something. NO, I don't drink, have never been drunk, and my birthday is always on the 17th and so is this holiday.
There have been a lot of troubles recently with the party. It sucks because all I want is for all of my friends to be there. There are some people who I think are backing out for childish reasons, but nonetheless, I want to enjoy myself. All of the downers can just stay out I guess.
For the people that are coming, and are coming to wish me well and have a great time with great bands, I truly appreciate it. I will give you cake.
I hope to see you there and I will update soon.
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| i have an allergic reaction to everyday living. |
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| 10:41am 18/02/2007 |
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mood: pensive music: spinal tap.
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My allergies are starting up. While most normal people would say, "Yeah mine too." And then maybe they'll sniff a little....my allergies destroy my life for about 3 months. All the way through to May. I can take clariten, sutafed, and nasonex but it still won't help that much. It's like they're these super-human allergies.
A lot has happened since my last entry, but nothing that you care about. I got a some new cuts and bruises from work (one was a crazy deep cut from a razorblade; i bled pretty profusely for an hour), i'm enjoying yoga, french is good, my assisgned books are at the very least interesting, and i'm trying to be creative constantly.
i'm starting to plan my birthday party. i think i'm going to have it at my house, and finish what i started which was to have the gold state/bht/cmg play at my house. i have an awesome backyard for bands. it's almost like a mini-amphitheater. i don't know yet; maybe i'll just have dinner with leo somewhere or something. last year's birthday wasn't really very fun or happy.
I did go out and take a ton of photos recently. I'm taking a photography course, and while i want to learn to do traditional photography, my teacher is almost forcing me to do digital. Once she found out that I studied at Otis for Digital Media, she's making me do all of this media lab shit to help her out. I'm totally willing, because maybe if I help out, things can get better there. I actually plugged in my portable harddrive into the wall outlet in her office to show her my homework, and the whole wall short-circuited and blew up her computer and broke the USB port to my HD. Great. I wish someone would donate money to the art department at Harbor College.
Still no word from Cal State Long beach on my appeal. I did get a vague response, but it was just a message on my phone. If I were actually talking to the person, maybe I'd be able to pry it out of them.
Things I am currently researching/listening to/drinking or eating/or using as inspiration:
-cindy sherman
-vintage knitting supplies
-VW squarebacks
-vintage party supplies
-peter bjorn and john
-the dead milkmen
-hot chip
-fiji water
-N SFCDL No WC
-bird watching |
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| school. |
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| 09:05pm 08/02/2007 |
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mood:  crappy music: drowning out.
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So I went to my first week of classes this week. They were all okay I guess. On Monday I have Yoga and my Physical Education Class that I just work out in. Both of those are fun, and I love that I get to meditate and get all flexible and stuff in Yoga. On Tuesdays I have French (which I LOVE and the teacher is so intelligent and no bullshit it's awesome), and History of Photography. I originally thought that my History of Photography teacher would be cool, a little eccentric, but cool. So I'm taking this class on Tuesday, and I get introduced to the crazy teacher and her background. Then, on Thursday, I get the second class and an actual taste of how the class is going to go. I don't want to sound pompous, but I am better than this class. I have taken about 4 years of art history courses, and there is no way that this class is in any way close to them. My teacher, first of all, has a degree in biology, not art. And she hasn't even been foramlly trained to be an artist. I just don't like it. I had so much better at Otis College, and I loved it. It's sad that this is all I have now....I just wish that Cal State Long Beach would let me know if I'm allowed to go or not. I hate it! Those people will not get back to me and know how I'm doing with my appeal. I should be able to go to thier goddamned school. arg. I just want to be a snooty artist/art hirstorian. sad face.
I also have a contemporary literature course and that's going great; lots of good books to read.
Oh, and a photography class taught by the same teacher who teaches History of Photography, but I'm only taking it to learn how to use a darkroom. From how it's looking, the students are going to be teaching that. I'm not depressed or anything...right?
I have to go pretend to sleep now. |
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| Dungeon Mistress?? |
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| 02:49pm 01/02/2007 |
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When you quit playing a massive, multi-player, online, role-playing game (MMORPG), what's the next step? Going back to the basics I guess, cause that's what Leo and I decided to do. After quitting the expansive and illustrious world of World of Warcraft, we decided to take a few steps backwards and play the original Dungeons and Dragons. I was a little wary at first because it had been quite some time since I had played it or something similair to it (Warhammer, Pokemon D&D, or Magic the Gathering). These are all incredibly dorky things I know, but I have no shame. Anyway, we got a basic D&D set and decided to get another one of our friends, JP, to help us set up and play.
After eyeing all of the dice and little warriros and monsters, we set up our bored, our players, and our DM, me. So I'm the DM and man, that is a lot of responsibility. I have to be on top of things now, and get our adventures together all while being a fair referee, a hodgepodge of monsters, and an amazing storyteller. It's actually a lot of fun, and good time was had by all (I think; we're still not sure if JP will return our phone calls).
I also got some pretty sweet new glasses. Some people have noticed them, others haven't. They're still the same crazy huge size as my old Chanel ones.
When I went to the optometrist, he exclaimed, "Holy Shit!" as he walked out of the room with my old glasses in his hands. Apparently, I have used those glasses to the point of no return. I do, however, plan on wearing them when I work at Starbucks. I'm too afraid that my new ones will get busted up and stuff. I was told by my new optometrist (who was the best doctor ever) that I have super bad eye sight and that the muscles in my eyes are causing them to converge (cross-eyed???) and it makes me strain to see which gives me even worse vision. Then I was told that I have very bad astigmatism, but healthy eyes overall (no signs of cataracts or glaucoma, which both of my grandparents have/had).
I thought it was strange that the doctor referred to glaucoma as "it". In the context, "You're grandfather had 'it'?" I responded yes, but was a little freaked out. Glaucoma must be the AIDS of the eye world.
This past Wednesday was a nice little show with the Black Hearth Throbs. I have never seen a more ridiculous band than the one that played before them. Their name: Cirkus. Beware of high kicks, splits in mid-air, and air humping.
Also, I made Jane a little gift as it was her birthday that day!
There was a pinata pirate to celebrate, but we did not destroy him; rather, he played keyboards.
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| 08:43pm 24/01/2007 |
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mood:  accomplished
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i got a Polaroid Impulse from the 80s.
yay~♥ |
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22_sweetfish's journal
